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Where the heck was Angel Locsin?

So, I sat through the entire premiere episode of MARS RAVELO'S DARNA and only got to see a still picture of Angel Locsin in the end credits.

IT'S NOT FAIR!!!

If you happened to tune in a couple of minutes late, you would've thought you were watching some test episode of "Tabing Ilog", with all the shots of kids running around the river and all that crying and flirting going on.

If you did happen to catch the start of the show, which I did, you would've seen the fantastic effects used by GMA to render the Planet Marte-- which looked like it was shot in a sandbox and the city was made of left-over Lego parts.

Anyway, the show opens with the planet being attacked by some evil people.

Maureen Larrazabal, who plays Aio, was given this glowing stone which seemed important to the Queen, played by Lorna Tolentino. The stone also seemed important to Celia Rodriguez, who plays Braguda, some evil woman wearing a rip-off of Deathbird's costume. So, for some reason Aio gets to escape in what looks like the X-wing fighter and flies out of the sandbox--ahem, Planet Marte. She is pursued by Braguda in what looks like a Tie-Fighter.

The planet Marte explodes! KABOOOM!

They end up near Earth and for some reason, Aio, who was been given the task to protect the glowing stone that looks like a bubblegum, decides to play chicken with Braguda's ship and they end up crashing againstone another.

So, Aio crash lands on Earth and not only does she lose the glowing bubblegum-- she loses all her clothes! (Alright!)

Braguda also crash lands on Earth and doesn't lose all her clothes. (Thank goodness!) She decides to hang-out in an abandonded warehouse where she could deliver her monolgues at the top of her voice and not bother anyone.

We then get to meet the young Narda, the young Ding, the young Valentina, and the young Efren (who?)

Anyway, in this universe, all rich people are evil and will do bad things to poor people-- like wake you up in the middle of the night and burn your house.

So, Narda's house gets burned down by Efren's dad-- which makes him not efren at all. (he he he)

Narda's dad gets the bright idea to seek shelter with his rich half-sister-- who's also evil and makes them live in the bahay-kubo behind her summer villa.

That's when we meet Valentina, who's Narda's cousin from Manila and they're the best of the friends. (And they all live in a place called Smallville!)

In between meeting all these people, a giant snake comes out of the river and eats a fisherman.
So, if you tuned in late you would've thought you were watching ANACONDA.

Turns out the giant snake is the pet of Braguda, who's still at the warehouse talking to herself. If you rewind to the first 15 minutes of the show, you'll see that there's no way a giant snake could've fit in Braguda's Tie-figther, so I have no idea where the anaconda came from.

So, Narda and Efren make a date to meet before Efren goes back to Manila. They decide to meet on this rock by the river-- the very same spot where the giant snake made an appearance!

But Valentina's mom --because she's rich and evil-- locked Narda up in small room that had better amenities than the bahay-kubo, where she ends up crying all night. Valentina frees her the next day and they rush to meet up with Efren.

Of course, Efren's gone.Valentina tries to look for him.

Narda finds the glowing stone which talks to her but doesn't freak her out.

Giant snake appears.

Coils around Valentina.

Narda starts screaming like a little girl-- oh wait, she is a little girl.

And that's how episode 1 ends.

I guess it was too much to hope for that it would be better than the usual.

Somebody please call me when Angel Locsin finally appears. (Or just send me the vidcaps)

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