She was, he said, an aristocratic eighty year old French lady and he loved her with a passion that bordered on the physical.
The young receptionist reached for her pen. The called went on to explain that he would be coming to Singapore during the first week in March. And his traveling companion would be arriving a few days earlier. Could arrangements be made to look after the old lady in his absence? Despite her impeccable French pedigree, he said, she was liable on account of her great age to be a touch cantankerous.
The receptionist explained that the hotel was always delighted to look after elderly ladies, cantankerous or otherwise. Let’s hope so, the called added. She was the one true love of his life and had survived all three of his marriages.
Somewhat taken aback by this demonstration of gallic candour, the girl inquired if the gentleman had any particular suite in mind?
Just put her in the garage he said.
When she finally arrived, the gleaming 1908 Peugeot quietly excelled all expectations in the Singapore to Malaysia vintage car rally.
The head waiter watched with mounting despair as the magnificent Gieves & Hawkes tie slid like sword into the Sauce Bearnaise.
Mr Carruthers, who had just returned to his seat, was unaware of the disaster. The waited glided silently forward and announced his presence with a tiny `ahem`. Perhaps, he suggested with the tact of Jeeves, Mr Carruthers would be more comfortable if he took off his tie? The gentleman duly obliged and the pride of Savile Row was silently borne away to be subjected to the secret alchemies of the laundry manager.
Less than a hour later it was returned to the bemused Mr Carruthers, cleaned, pressed and just in time for coffee. So impressed was the hotel guest, in fact, that he delighted his table companions with a piece of uncharacteristic jocularity. He would, he quipped, be returning the following week with a suit to be cleaned.
The waited merely observed that in case he would ensure that an extra large dish of Sauce Bearnaise was on hand to receive it.
Both stories are actually long-copy ads that were part of the Raffles Hotel relaunch campaign in the 1990s.
The first story was 183 words long. The second one was 173 words long. The first line hooks you into the story and each word carefully guides you to the conclusion, where you find yourself smiling or chuckling because of the little story you just read.
It is refreshing and frustrating to read ads like these when most of the time you’re stuck writing ads that always say NEW! NEW AND IMPROVED! BIGGER! BETTER! FASTER! THE FIRST! THE ONLY! BUY NOW!
People remember stories. If you tell you're stories well enough, they will tell other people about it and that works out better than buying all the billboards on EDSA.
