“Hit the brakes if you’ve already heard this before.”I had a 1pm meeting today. So, we had to leave the office at 12 noon. Meaning, I was attending a meeting with an empty stomach. Which meant I was going to be very grumpy.
We hailed a cab and all got in. I sat in the passenger seat, gave instructions to the driver and closed my eyes, hoping to get a bit of rest before we got to the meeting.
The driver started to make comments about the traffic and the cops and the billboards and the government and I wasn’t in the mood to converse.
He then asked me, “Narinig niyo po na namatay na si Steve Irwin, yung Crocodile Hunter? Sayang, di ba? Mag do-donate dapat siya sa bansa natin. Alam niya kasi na dito mahahanap ang pinakamalaking crocodile sa buong mundo.
“May zoo nga siya kung saan mahahanap ang pinakamalaking Japanese crocodile. Tapos, nandoon din ang pinakamalaking Australian crocodile-- at mas malaki nga!
“Tapos, dun sa kulungan ng Philippine crocodile, walang laman. Kaya nagtapon siya ng karne para lumabas. Pero walang lumabas! Kaya ginawa niya, nagtapon siya ng pera! Ayon! Naglabasan yung mga buwaya! Ang laki! Naka-barong pa!”
He chuckled and I couldn’t help but laugh.
We passed by some traffic cops and he said, “Ayan, mga buwaya din yan.”
He then asked me if I voted in the last presidential election. I said I wasn’t able to.
“Buti na lang di kayo bumoto,” he told me. “Ako bumoto ako, pero nadaya lang ako, eh. Lahat naman nung kandidato na yun magkakamag-anak. Alam niyo ba na lahat sila letter `P` ang middle initial?”
I said I didn’t know that.
“Oo naman! Si GMA… `P` for Pandak.
“Si FPJ… Panday.
“Si Roco… Prostate Cancer.
“Si Bro. Eddie… Praise the Lord.
“Si Ping Lacson… Pulis.
“At si Eddie Gil… `P` for Peluka!”
He laughed again and we all laughed with him.
Right before we got to client’s office, he made another observation.
“Ang hirap na talaga ng buhay ngayon. Nabalitaan niyo ba na nag-e-FX na daw si Rosanna Roces? Oo, FX na lang siya ngayon. Na-hold-up pa siya! Buti na lang natago niya yung P500 niya sa panty niya, kaya di nakuha.
“Pagkatapos nung hold-up, takbo siya sa tindahan para bumili ng tubig, dahil talaga sobrang nyerbios niya. Pinambayad niya yung P500, pero binalik sa kanya nung tindera. Peke daw! Dahil pagtining niya sa P500, nakalawit yung dila ni Ninoy!”
And he laughed even louder.
He really liked that joke of his.
Finally, we got to our destination and paid him P100, when the fare was only P70. The great thing was, he actually fished out change for us, when most cab drivers would just keep the change.
Wish there were more cab drivers like him.
So, next time you hail a cab and you the name PADRINO on the side, get in. You’ll get to where you want to go and get a show along the way.
